Random Thoughts - 4/25/15

Here are some more Random Thoughts, a special gift from me to you. And to everyone else who already read them on Twitter, too.

Our neighbor’s dog likes to bark all of the time. Our neighbor’s dog needs to go jump in the lake.

Steps when wifi won’t work: 1. Panic. 2. Unplug router. 3. Plug it back in. 4. Everything is fine.

If Meryl Streep named her automobile after an emotion, it could be A Streep Car Named Desire.

Trying to get a 12 year old boy to hurry in the morning is like trying to get the Statue of Liberty to sit down.

It’s a gray, drizzly day outside. But at least we have the glow of the fluorescent lights inside to make it all better.

Little known fact: After the Pony Express ended, it was briefly replaced by the Hippo Haul. The problem: Not enough hippos in the Old West.

Don’t you just love it when a complete stranger tries to tell you how to do something when you already know you know what you are doing?

Oh, “tax” day. I thought we were supposed to send in thumb tacks.

Nothing like the hum of lawnmowers to remind you that you shouldn’t have left your car window cracked today.

Trying my best to avoid the donuts in the breakroom. Stay strong.

Were items that are refrigerated ever actually frigerated in the first place?

The orchestra is two rows in front of us, and someone behind behind us asks, “Is this a musical?”

Lady behind us at the play to her neighbor: “Would you like some dental floss, or a breath mint? Here’s a packet of Splenda.”

First good thing of the day: No wait to check out at Walmart this morning. An advantage of going early.

Insurance companies are stupid. Sorry if you happen to work for one.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could power your lawn mower with the grass clippings it produces?

It’s the end of April, and we turned our heat back on. Where are my thermal socks?

It is too nice a day outside to be staring at the computer screen all day. So I am staring out the window instead.

Happy Earth Day! What do you get the earth that already has everything?

(In response to the above post, someone mentioned their workplace was giving the earth jeans, because they were donating jeans for Earth Day to use as insulation in Habitat for Humanity homes). The earth says, “Do these jeans make my equator look big?”

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Unless you are driving. Because then you would have some unexpected stops.

Gotta move around more today. My Fitbit says I’m a slacker.

Check back for more Random Thoughts later, or follow Burnsland on Twitter for all the latest!