Observations of the Past Weeks (4/4/14)

Here they are once again, the observations of the past two weeks from Twitter and Facebook. Humor is implied, but not guaranteed.

Today’s word of the day is “Gesundheit.” In case you are wondering. (Most people messed up and just said, “Bless you.” No secret word points for them.)

It is nice and sunny out. Just don’t go outside and ruin the illusion that it is a warm spring day. (Sunny days and cool temperatures just don’t mix.)

And just like that, the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies popped into my head. I don’t know why. ("…and up from the ground came some bubbling crude." You’re welcome.)

Anyone want an armadillo? We have one that apparently thinks our yard is heaven on earth. (Plus side: free yard aeration.)

Please excuse my stomach. It is just begging for some food. (Operating under the “squeaky wheel gets the grease” premise.)

“I’m about to do something completely unremarkable, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” (The story of my life.)

“The rain always sounds harder on a metal roof. Like in the barn.” - The Horses (They didn’t actually say that, but they implied it by their actions.)

For today, the farthest I have gone from the house has been to the barn. And it has been nice. (We need more days like that.)

Tonight while we were in Firehouse Subs, a woman came in and ordered a “12-inch footlong.” As opposed to what? (Just making sure she gets her whole sandwich, I guess.)

Last day of March. Time Marches on. (You have to say that in March, because “Time Aprils on” doesn’t make any sense.)

So today is one of those days where I have been busy all day without really accomplishing anything. Just spinning the wheels. Or the plates. (Maybe I could be on Circus of the Stars!)

There is always stuff to do, but the couch is so inviting. Even more so if the TV is on. (Even better if there is actually something on TV worth watching.)

It is 75 degrees outside! What am I still doing inside? Oh yeah, work. (Maybe offices shouldn’t have windows. And I don’t mean the Microsoft kind.)

It’s the time of year when you can judge the temperature by the number of overweight shirtless men you see on the drive home. Today was a 1. (Not looking forward to the higher numbers.)

We are in the moderate risk area for severe storms tomorrow. So that’s cool. But not really. (The only ones who get excited about such things are meteorologists and storm chasers, of which I am neither.)

Answering a phone call that says “Unknown” on the caller ID when you are expecting a call. #stupidthings (When will I ever learn?)

It’s like the sun and the clouds can’t decide which one will dominate today. I think the clouds are going to pull it out. (I had the sun winning my bracket, but it didn’t help.)

I thought my spell check didn’t know how to spell “Beatitudes,” but it turns out that it was me that didn’t know. Oops. Sorry, spell check. (Blessed are those who know how to spell…)

So the Storm Prediction Center said there is a 60% chance they will issue a watch for here. Do they do nothing without percentages? (There’s a 24% chance they don’t.)

That’s it for this time. Check back soon or watch social media for more!