A Christmas Traffic Tale

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Steve. He was a fun, happy guy. Some people thought he was funny, and some didn’t. But that is beside the point.

Steve’s drive home from work would take him past a major mall. You know the kind. Lots of stores. Lots of people shopping. Especially during the Christmas season.

And during that Christmas season, the traffic around the mall would get very thick. Thicker than chocolate gravy. And that was neither fun nor happy for Steve, the fun, happy guy.

So each year around the first of December, Steve would decide to find another way to go home. The way he would find was actually a longer drive distance-wise. And under normal circumstances, it would be a longer drive time-wise, too. But because of the traffic around the mall, it actually turned out to be a shorter drive. And a drive where Steve spent most of the time in the car moving instead of staying still. Because staying still in a car isn’t driving; it is parking.

Then Steve went on his long, out-of-the-way drive home for the rest of December. And once again, he was a fun, happy guy.

And happy to be home, away from all the not fun traffic. And don’t even get him started on how he isn’t shopping at the mall with all the crazy people.

Because that is another story for another time.

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